


it’s these thoughts that burden my heart

by luminstora



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M, Neglectful Parents, Short, just isak’s thoughts mainly, not that angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:02:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminstora/pseuds/luminstora
Summary: once just once he wanted someone to realize he wasnt the bad guy





	it’s these thoughts that burden my heart

Whether he deserves it or not, isak is used to taking the blame.

Since his childhood, everything has always been his fault. No one else’s, just isak isak isak. He distinctly remembers sitting on the floor of his barely furnished and shabby home. His mother was locked in her bedroom, and isak, barely 7, sat unsupervised and hungry, having already given up on finding something to eat. His father arrived hours later, staggering and smelling dank. Isak was a kid, just a cold, hungry, and tired kid who didnt understand why he couldnt have a life like the other kids at school- the kids who actually got a lunch box and a warm kiss and wave from their parents as they’re being dropped off. The other kids who have fun toys and happy homes. The other kids who have saturday nights filled with laughter and movies. Isak wishes he had that, because that saturday night he didnt hear laughter, he heard the screams of his father telling isak that it was his fault, all his fault. 

“she’s crazy because of you!! you!!! you were a mistake that ruined my wife, it’s all your fault” 

so while other kids got movies, isak got a mother locked in her room, and a father drunk out of his mind yelling at a 6 year old who hadnt eaten since school the previous day. 

 

the thing is that isak knows he’s not always to blame. eva and jonas’s breakup was partly his fault, but that’s not what he means. no what isak means is that everyone already assumes he’s the bad guy, and it kills him. but what he really really means is that whenever even and isak get in a fight, no matter how big or small, no one jumps to his side. no one tells him to forgive even, it’s always “even will forgive you.” dont get him wrong he loves his boyfriend to death. but he wants justice as childish as it sounds. 

because sometimes the world doesnt understand that just because he’s grumpy, and just because he’s not as nice as even doesnt mean he’s the bad guy. he just wants someone to look at him and tell him he can forgive not be forgiven. but even that doesnt need to be said because isak’s heart is wide open, his attitude doesnt show it but it’s true. he has so much love to give even after all the people that have come and gone.

he just wants to be the good guy for once and maybe some day itll stop being him against the world and him with the world, because god knows isak wants that more than anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> if this seems rushed and unfinished it’s bc it is  
> i typed this on my phone kinda a pain in the ass and im not that good at writing haha  
> just to be clear, even and isak are still tight af in this verse, but these are just some of isak’s sad thoughts  
> sorry for the crappy work at 11 pm haha


End file.
